A Flood in My Head

i believe this entry is the result of two days of conversation.
And with a bit of influence from what i've been reading.

Been on the road for so long,
walking alone i am,
with people whom i can side along.

Friends that i call,
despite the gap that lies between,
they are support upon which i can fall.

Shall it be this time round,
seeking a companion in my journey,
the one who is yet to be found.

She ain't far, she is near,
am i to deny the prescence
that stands right before me so clear?

Tapping is my finger,
awaiting a sign to come knocking
before i decide to pull the trigger.

Choices run through my mind,
calculating risks and stakes involve,
am i to answer with a sigh?

There are losses and of cos gain
we try too hard to think too much
to avoid unnecessary pain.

Fearing fail and give no try?
take a look at the birds
when they learn to fly.

Observe with your keen sight,
take a closer look
before doing what you think is right.

Read the moves, interpret its meaning
you can only hope for
to see what you are wishing.

When all is right,
and time is ripe
i'll strike.

And more to come, details i probably won't recall here, for now that is.
And conclude,
I know I'm not alone as I felt I was.

If anyone were to ask again whether i blog for people to see.
I'll say yes. And no.
I write to express myself,
my blog serves as a bridge,
to bring my thoughts for those who read.

Still awaiting for The Distorted World and A(Its) Hero.

Me and the Morning

Quiet morning
chilled by wind and rain.
A room less than filled
with music flowing through.

Emotions within rhythms,
melody and voice put together.
Light and calming air,
soothes one's soul so much.

The bed so tempting
constantly calling me to join it in slumber.
Clouds had kept the morning sun hidden well
casting away rays of bright.

My phone lies a corner
as though losing all hint of life.
Pen kisses the paper
producing words of blue.

Whirlpools of thoughts in my head
from twirls in my stream of thoughts.

Victim and the Accused

The accused pleading innocence,
the victim lying in cold blood.
A judge remains to be found,
to reckon justice upon the guilty.

Came a sudden thought of random,
challenging the chain of flow so far.
Even if the guilty shall be dealt conviction
what meaning to the victim does it bear?

Dreamlike

I am like a dream,
carrying and passing messages
but hiding them in forms
you do not understand,
leading you into a chase
just to reveal what i meant.

I am like a dream,
being what you want
and all the possibilities,
only to disappear
and leaving only a trace
of irretrievable memory.

I am like a dream,
however real it may seem,
it does not transit into reality
and lays beyond your touch,
a mere fragment of thought,
conjure by your deepest hopes.

Meaning and Falling Down

The following would sound like a speech.
To be presented to who, i suggest its myself.
To be presented where, i suggest my head.

I didn't find what i lost,
but i did realised what it it.

It is meaning.

The meaning that ties so strongly to purpose.
The purpose that was the root of my belief and reason to why i fight.
The reason why i wake up every morning knowing i have to fight and work harder.

The fight is not just for the purpose,
its a fight against myself too.

The meaning which formed the basis and foundation now lies in rumbles like ruins of a destroyed building.
It is now tough to build on such ruined ground but i won't clear this ground of the ruins for the fear of losing the last traces of what used to stand here.
Now as I know, what has been gone is far from our reach and what remains becomes all the more precious and thus, we want to keep it, even if just a little.
So keeping it and attempt to build upon it becomes a fruitless one despite the knowledge at hand.

I trust that, only by tearing everything down fully then would there be a chance of seeing a complete structure again.

I believe, in order to pick yourself up, you have to fall down to do so, and fall completely.

I am wondering how to fall down completely.

Where i do,
I'm not going to just call it quits.

Best at my Worst

Woke up from a nap
my head is in a twirl.
Try to steady myself
as i resist lying back again.

Away from my thoughts
i hear the music blasting.
But my ears feel pressure
coming from the air so still.

Time akin to stopping
man on the moon i feel.
Seeking my way out
of this finely weaved webbing.

Looking for my chocolates
my happy food I call.
I'm not unhappy
not enough to be happy yet.

Sense of emotions getting wrecked
like a compass going crazy.
Felt a sense of defeat
masking over me.

If its a cloak on my back,
its truly dense to the thread.
A loss when nothing is fought,
what exactly the stake forfeited?

I guess i know but silent in words
for i wish not to aloud the unsaid.
Fear i see that is keeping me mute
apparently I'm facing my dreaded.

Amusing i felt as i observed
that I recover my lost muse.
In that instance of my worst
where i got to be my best again.

Facing the Unwritten Written

Written laws
unwritten rules.
It all becomes empty verses
if there's no warrant.

Does power or authority
become the requisite,
in order for one
to tail the upkeep.

If odds are against you
how do you do
to maintain your stand
under overwhelming sense.

Give up and run away,
or fight till the end
only to find you're stuck
in a languish wrestle.

As when the written or said
deals you a path too tough
what makes you the person
to stick by way.

I'm Back

Awake but not awoken,
rise up on my own accord.
To seek a new goal
that now only exist
in my mind.

Back to basics but
not to square one.
I'm just tracing my steps
back to where
i started out from.

Lost i may be
but its just time
before i see
the road ahead
and the light that shines upon.

Goodbye

A mentor, a friend.
A senior, a guide.
To the road he is,
a light, so bright.

This is dedicated to you, Andrew.
There are somethings that about yourself that you might not know.
And one of that I'll say is,
You've made a difference in our lives.

P.S Thanks for your soccer shoes,
which got me started and all.

The last season was five years ago? Was it?