Meaning and Falling Down

The following would sound like a speech.
To be presented to who, i suggest its myself.
To be presented where, i suggest my head.

I didn't find what i lost,
but i did realised what it it.

It is meaning.

The meaning that ties so strongly to purpose.
The purpose that was the root of my belief and reason to why i fight.
The reason why i wake up every morning knowing i have to fight and work harder.

The fight is not just for the purpose,
its a fight against myself too.

The meaning which formed the basis and foundation now lies in rumbles like ruins of a destroyed building.
It is now tough to build on such ruined ground but i won't clear this ground of the ruins for the fear of losing the last traces of what used to stand here.
Now as I know, what has been gone is far from our reach and what remains becomes all the more precious and thus, we want to keep it, even if just a little.
So keeping it and attempt to build upon it becomes a fruitless one despite the knowledge at hand.

I trust that, only by tearing everything down fully then would there be a chance of seeing a complete structure again.

I believe, in order to pick yourself up, you have to fall down to do so, and fall completely.

I am wondering how to fall down completely.

Where i do,
I'm not going to just call it quits.