Dream Jar and a Run

In the midst of quarrels,
shouts, anger and pain.
I chance upon knowledge
of my much broken act.
When the dying crave for life,
even a minute, a moment more.
Here i am trying,
to empty out everything i have.
That's not a desire to risk life,
but to leave life.

Someone mention about dreams,
not leaving them unfulfilled before you die.
Else it'll be so much
of a wasted life.
Saw that my dream jar was empty,
not even a crumb left.
Then to realize,
it's never been filled before.

Once long ago i heard of a chance
to go fight in a foreign land.
Delighted to go,
and wanted volunteer to be.
But now i see
what it had really meant to me.
It wasn't duty like i told myself
but a chance to have a bad throw at the die.
So at least i can end up
extinguished while doing something.

Taking a run,
towards my demise i am.
Don't think there's anyone who anticipates
the destination as much as i do.
Because i have
nothing to lose.
That's why i feel,
no fear of loss at all.
Maybe a bit,
the initial start.
Look closely,
there's nothing left to part.

No dreams, no possession,
not at all to call your own.

I am still making that run.
And reaching my hand
hoping to grasp something
inside my empty dream jar.