Dreams: Closer

I've been dreaming of strange things.
Thing that would have been seen as normal,
but presented in a manner of usual fashion.

Receiving a note from an overseas friend,
a note of his death and with it,
are words he would have said.
A collection of thoughts and regards
to his friends which he would have wished
to say in person himself.
Never been listed as one
who would give much concern about others,
this time what he left were
heartfelt comments for his friends,
those who are close but far away.
Honestly could it be that
i've lost a few friends this year
that made me wonder whether
death is coming near.
And that its upon facing death
that people would really speak their mind.

Another dream that appeared
brought me to the space beneath my bed.
Amidst the dust i found
a pair of torn socks even i forgot.
A message i saw within,
about the past and where i have been.
Where i lost a certain part of me,
trapped in lost time and uncertainty,
waiting for me to find it again,
that i knew as another broken me.
What i am searching for could be just near,
needless of me to seek high and low.
Or is it about my losing sight,
of what seems to be the obvious?

Along was something far from a dream,
a bit of magic i felt tingling
reminding, rekindling the feeling
that have been lost unknowingly.
At an instance i understood what it all meant,
the search i was on without a single trace.
A hunt without any idea
what is the prey.
All i know is that it would fill a gap,
that lies in my heart,
making me feel hollow-ed out.

Looking for satisfaction is half the story.
In fact it is about acquiring this sensation
with a team i can count on,
and then moving on
to beyond anything we know of.
But being so warded against new faces,
too defensive for my own good in fact.
That any hope of having anyone closer
seem like impossible.
Even if its not about companions,
i still need a shoulder,
a person who would stand through tough times
alongside with me.
Provided i can get through
the knot that is in me.

A series of reminders.
Now i think i'm more connected with the world than i knew i was,
in a way perhaps.
Or a sign that i'm opening up to myself.