Early Morning Train Ride

Five more stops i count
and soon I'll be
bounded for another train
to the port for planes.

The air is unusually cold today
in the cabin where i stood
though i got to say
its long since my last train trip.

Half the people i see
drifted away to sleep
as they made themselves at ease
on the maroon colored seats.

Stops after stops
the train went about it's way,
its path being dictate
by the tracks laid ahead.

More people got down,
even fewer got in,
making the cabin
going less than empty.

When finally i managed
to find myself on that maroon,
the crowd i first encountered
has dwindled down to a few.

They're no longer taken by sleep
now awaken as they see
their destination away from them
only by mere matter of minutes.

Sunlight pierce through the glass panels
as we escape the tunnel
to see morning's glory
smiling right back at us.

A switch of train just before that escape
brought a new group before me
short of a few familiar faces
from the previous cabin.

Again i count the stations
looking forward to start my day
then again,
hasn't it started many stops ago?

Morning.

Broken Peace

An alarm was set off
just around half past noon
where my lunch is still
down down my digestive tract
and vividly i could recall
it as a much hefty meal.

The compound was empty
save for a few of us
who has to spend the day here
envying at those are absent.
We ain't alone, accompanied by feelings
of restlessness we can't shake off.

It was a dismay to many,
when the silence drifting around
made for a run
as the siren went crying
on and on, on and on,
no stopping.

Discomforting it was
then a conclusion came.
We've lost the peaceful afternoon
we grew so familiar with.
A thought came asking
'Where are we having it back?'

We waited and waited,
pray it'll not be in vain
all till the siren went dead
perhaps tired out from crying
or someone has just
given it the boot.

Santuary

Looking at rays of sunlight
pierce through the
faint misty air
upon the wide open green field
moist with morning dew.

Far out on the horizon
white flaky clouds gather
like a herd of cattle grazing
except that the colours changed
of blue and green, white and brown.

Serenity starts to set in
as the scene began coming to a still
less the humming of insects
and the flock of birds
flying across the sky.

It feels like it could last
forever, it it really existed.
then i look around
and realised i am
down here, alone.

Complicated

Once in a while,
I come back looking
at what I've wrote
and wonder.

Especially if
a friend came telling
that your words
are hard to fathom.

I could only feel
that what i pen down
are merely a reflection
of my other everyday life.

Then again i think,
could there be a message
trying to be discovered
by an unsuspecting reader.

Coming from where
i suppose
that it would be,
my subconscious mind.

A serious habit
that tends to stay,
complicating matters
even of the least complex.

Communication for understanding
but here i am,
trying to cause misunderstanding
by a cat and mouse game.

Are there words that
i wish to say
yet lacking courage
to speak it out loud?

Thus making me
turn to such alternative
and express the contents
that is in my mind.

Orchestra on a rainy day

Droplets of water that came
hitting down on that concrete ground.
Gust of wind blowing
echoing as they went along.
The leaves rustle in response
while the tress could only nod
in an uniform agreement.
The sky's a shade of mixed gray,
the blue quietly concealed away.

Of a sudden,
a symphony presents itself
becoming like an orchestra
as they all hum a single tune.
With thunder booming every few moments.
High and then low
and then higher than once before.
Rising to its climax
with everything sounding louder still.

The thunder carefully fades away
as the performance comes to an end.
And applause came in the manner
as people came out of their shelters
into puddles-filled land.

Indulge

Indulge yourself once in a while.
Have a treat or a two,
praising yourself
but in no way of a fool.

Enjoy that short laughter
or let that hint of a smile
show itself fully
without holding back at all.

Drawing that joy
from every step
and breathe you take
while life keeps ticking.

Indulge,
in not about enjoying pleasure,
but simply taking pleasure in enjoying,
each and everything.

Expressing Myself

You can't seem to ignore
however hard you attempt.
Could bluff yourself thinking
that's just the way it is.
But deep down inside knowing
facades never last for long.
Went into some willful wishing
for things to go your way.

Be it what you try to uphold,
values upon your shoulders.
Resolution unwilling to let it into
the list of next year's.

Another mistake you try to fix.
A person so hard to get to.
It all still feels,
so distant away.
Somehow much akin to,
repairing a roof top
while hailstones rain around.

I'll like to break that distant,
get close to express myself,
be it to reality or simply just me.
Possibly another one who could see
where I'm really standing.

Where am I?
Lost in jumbled thoughts,
or is it just
a somewhat fantasy of my own?

Change, unchanged

Some things change.
Some things never change.
Even when time has pass,
certain scars still remain,
reminding you of what once happened,
so long a time ago.

Even so,
it does not even need to cast a reminder
as you try so hard to forget
but to no avail.

the Day the Rain Came

Rain came the whole day,
bringing about a look of gloom
that stretched thru the sky,
hiding the sun to a place far away.

Droplets falling all around
as the wind was blowing gently
cold like how it was
in a song i came to know.

Only when the day,
began to give way to night
then did the rain,
decide to go away too.

The boys came out to play,
a soccer ball in their midst,
ants went scurrying,
forming a loosely black trail.

Heaving a sigh,
wishing i can take my bag,
reach for the door
and call it a day's end.

Weight On My Shoulders

What does the world ask of you?

What do you ask of yourself?

But whose ruler do you judge your actions?


"Lost in a guide"

Flickering

Reminds me so much
of a story i wrote
a long time ago
that tells of a person
who in the struggle
against life itself
displaying a great deal
of spirit and perseverance.

Now it felt like
i've come to the point
where i became the character
i once wrote about
ironic in one sense
and no in another
after all who else can write better
about yourself than you that is.

I felt like a flame
trying so hard
to just keep on
burning, burning.
Losing the fire,
losing the steam,
i guess i'm just
cut short this time.

Am i seeking
for a piece of santuary
or salvation perhaps?
The answer lies within
and then i note
that it'll have to be found
before my last light
burns out.

And the sun won't rise

Ever heard of the story,
that tells of a rooster
who thought the sun won't rise
if he does not crows to announce daybreak.

Somehow a similar feeling that I'm having,
that i am trying to be,
in a reagent like manner perhaps,
causing reactions of the many experiments.

Exhausted i became,
and went through my mind,
a thought.
Maybe I'm not great after all.

The sun continues rising,
and I get on with what I have,
making the best i can,
every single day.

Sunday Afternoon, after the rain

The rain went away,
leaving puddles of water,
on the open ground.

Like fragments of a broken mirror,
reflecting the sky above,
and the white clouds floating pass,
like a herd grazing on that field of blue.

We do not see the wind,
but its there as we see,
the clouds moving fast.

The world stays lighted,
though the sun is not in sight
and now waking from its slender slumber.

Simple Night

I feel at ease,
having the singlet on my body,
the wind blowing against me,
carrying the scent of the night.

The rounded moon in the distance,
shining brightly,
and despite our chase,
is always out of reach.

The shadows of the trees,
casted by the street light,
as though challenging each other,
both reaching for the heights.

The road that leads straights ahead,
empty with not a soul in sight,
on a second look do we see,
a perfect scene formed by the light.

The clouds coming floating passed,
trying to shield the world,
from the gentle moonshine,
hiding everyone in the night's embrace.

I am here,
at ease with all around,
good night.

Life/Death

Often we would talk about facing death in life,
but sometimes its in death that we see glimpses of life...

Consider this like a summary or a walkthrough of the emotions and thoughts that has been with me for the past days.

Thoughts of disbelieve and denial was probably the first that struck,
feeling helpless as the whole story unfold right before your eyes,
knowing that control is impossible but a miracle is hoped for,
wishing that it was all a dream right from that phone call,
but somehow knowing that its a struggle to go through,
and its real, getting closer as the clock ticks.

Rationale has lost it way,
sanity searching for a path out.

To think that once i thought about a certain 'beauty in death',
now i'm facing the aftermath of its onslaught past.
A gathering long waited for,
a reunion long past its time,
at what expense did we pay to meet its due...

Tasting like regrets and lament alike,
what we attempt is like trying to heal a scar,
which rose from a blade of remorse that pierce our hearts,
was it a purely a reaction to ease the pain,
as we try to right a wrong...

Often in cases when death strucks,
it takes away more than just one life,
also the ones closest with that departed soul.
A gap left from the leaving which felt like,
the acts of a thief from the shadows,
beyond our grasp and even our world, perhaps.

Anyone will inevitably leave a part of themself,
with those who walk the journey of life with them.

Forgetting.. forgetting..

It came one fine day,
where everything starts to feel so bleak.

Have we just forgot what is excitement,
or is it the senses dull by the many other additives,
that has come our way this far.

Have we just forgot what is meaning,
or is it the value slipping away,
from our hands and mind alike.

Have we just forgot who we are anymore,
or are we vanishing into oblivion,
waiting for someone to find us again?

Have we?

silence

Emptiness is never empty,
for silence lurks within.

The sound of thunder echoes through the room,
backed by the cold air lingering all around.
Silence then comes creeping in,
between interval rumbles of the sky above.

Recalls a time in an abandoned room,
with sealed windows and closed doors.
Silence then has filled the little enclosed world,
its strong presence consuming every sound made.

I once felt that silence was loud,
literally breathe taking even for a short instant.
But could it just be the reminiscence
of an internal struggle with silence.

Sometimes hiding behind all other sounds,
seeping in when it finds the chance to.
If only one would stop and really listen,
then would one know than it is all around.

Just If?

What if the idea that we are in a simulated world was real?
Just like the matrix of some sort.

Seriously think about it...

I just had a most amazing yet scary dream recently. Dreams tells us a lot of things i feel so i'm taking this pretty seriously. In some sense, or whatever is left.

I dreamt that i was in a dream.
And in that dream i was trying to wake up from a dream.

Sounds nuts to have things like dream within a dream but it just happened, somehow.

In this dream scene, i was trying desperately to wake upself up,
i could feel myself feeling for my limbs, moving them and trying hard to open my eyes.

Nothing responded,
and then i heard voices,
something or someone knew i was getting awake
and they're trying to get me out of consciousness again.

A painful struggle but i finally managed to get control and force myself awake.

Then again,
this was just like what i experienced a while back,
where i managed to regain consciousness where in my sleep.

So what if...
we all 'woke up' one day to find that it was a dream all along?

Time Lost

For a moment i felt,
that time once again,
have been deemed wasted,
on play instead of work.

But to look at it again,
purely its not just play,
but a gathering of minds,
that i have just attended.

But who is anyone to speak,
of wasted time and lost hours,
where no man is a master
whom to judge upon the actions done.

Everyone

There's no going,
there's no meaning,
if we aren't there together.

We took the path knowing,
we'll have one another,
through the journey.

Its not about the destination anymore,
wasn't in the first place either,
its the staying together that counts all along.