Along the way this far, referring to the past over one year in army, personal philosophy has been an important part of me, something that gets me going, stops me dropping and keeps me thinking.
When i just got enlisted, i believed that "Joy lies in enjoyment", that joy or happiness is for me to discover. Provided i can learn to enjoy it. Well, no one really enjoys being in the army anyway, so this became an attempt to do that.
It worked pretty well for me and i got past three months and then into command school. Things were pretty much different, the people, the environment and what you have to achieve. Achieve not in your own goals but rather about criteria to pass out. But this time my initial philosophy don't seem to be making so much sense anymore, so i went about looking for something new. I thought about "loving what you do vs doing what you love" as my next statement, which translates into the two manner to be happy. Its pretty much a sad fact that i can't choose what i am doing so practically i'm given only one option. If taking a closer look at things, both 'philosophy' so far talks about what to achieve but not about what drives you.
I went searching for a answer and it came to me after losing a few weekend mornings away in camp. As a physical test failure, i had to spend saturday mornings doing trainings, thus i started working very hard to get out of this situation. Then i realized that i started working so hard either because i was afraid of losing my weekend away or because i want to have the weekend morning as my own. I ended up sticking two statements on my cupboard. "Doing the work you love vs loving the work you do.", "Fear of loss or love for possession." Its a point to note that there is no better choice but rather what fits you better.
The next phrase i entered did not give much change but i believe that things still need moving on. Around that time i re-watched "Kingdom of Heaven" and the oath they took left a pretty deep impression on me. The portion about being a good man everyday. Consistent effort, its telling me. Back in my mind, i felt that consistency in effort only gets harder day by day. But still i told myself "Not to be a good man everyday, be a better man everyday"; always be seeking improvements.
When all that has pass me, the line of philosophy seems to have disappeared and now i'm down, feeling lost. And the cycle begins again to guide my way out. Its been an integral part of me that i have to admit displays very much of who i am, what i do, where i go and how to go on.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Random Thoughts
I felt that i need to post again.
Meaning, I'm casting random thoughts again.
Fulfilling the purpose of this blog I am.
Now i feel like i don't really belong anywhere.
Perhaps it came from the random browsing across social sites and seeing people all around me being part of something bigger. They have part of them everywhere like they are someone who is bigger than life and have so much to spare or share around.
If i do put the statement in that manner where people around me are all in that manner, larger than life, then it could only mean that i'm the one who is smaller. Depressing. Haha.
There goes my first laughter in blogging history.
To console myself a little, i questioned myself whether i need to be active in social sites to be happier or to remind myself i actually have many friends around me. Apparently my answer came: I don't need the social site, because there's not much people i need to socialize with in that manner. It's been months since i even last said or typed a word to most of the people listed in my contact list.
Have i just become some kind of cold blooded creature?
No not yet. Because this site still exists. And its proof i still think and feel though i'm suggesting to myself that i lack empathy and concern for others.
And earlier today when i recalled about my post regarding being selfish. I've thought it through. It's more about lacking the genuine concern for every other thing. The inability to go forward and care about what is around you. So wonder did it start from internal first? Being unable to care about your own self even?
Well... Back to the social site issue, i remember seeing people having chatters, postings little notes across that cyber space of 'non-impossibilities', i do receive them sometimes, but i think its always less than the rest. But i have never ever post them back. I think that i've become a bit too serious sometimes, to feel that such things are in a manner, nonsensical. To be concern about the right stuffs, i see myself going towards the other way, to end up being concerned about what is not so important and leaving so much behind.
I see myself lacking security and the confidence. I hold the fear of being alone, because people will end up leaving me. I found it hard to put trust in just anyone, because i don't think i can trust myself sometimes. I dare not look at a pretty girl when we had eye contact, because i do not know how i'll be looked at and i do not know where i stand. I lack my security in what i do now and in the fear of being judged.
A phony i am.
When i say it does not matter how people look at me. Somehow it does.
When i say there's nothing to worry about. Somehow there is.
When i say anything is achievable, somehow it might not be so.
The posts over these few days has been much depressing items, and the paragraphs are far away from the verses usually presented. It's a circle of thoughts, proceeding from one form to another. Its merely me, trying to seeking out my truth.
Meaning, I'm casting random thoughts again.
Fulfilling the purpose of this blog I am.
Now i feel like i don't really belong anywhere.
Perhaps it came from the random browsing across social sites and seeing people all around me being part of something bigger. They have part of them everywhere like they are someone who is bigger than life and have so much to spare or share around.
If i do put the statement in that manner where people around me are all in that manner, larger than life, then it could only mean that i'm the one who is smaller. Depressing. Haha.
There goes my first laughter in blogging history.
To console myself a little, i questioned myself whether i need to be active in social sites to be happier or to remind myself i actually have many friends around me. Apparently my answer came: I don't need the social site, because there's not much people i need to socialize with in that manner. It's been months since i even last said or typed a word to most of the people listed in my contact list.
Have i just become some kind of cold blooded creature?
No not yet. Because this site still exists. And its proof i still think and feel though i'm suggesting to myself that i lack empathy and concern for others.
And earlier today when i recalled about my post regarding being selfish. I've thought it through. It's more about lacking the genuine concern for every other thing. The inability to go forward and care about what is around you. So wonder did it start from internal first? Being unable to care about your own self even?
Well... Back to the social site issue, i remember seeing people having chatters, postings little notes across that cyber space of 'non-impossibilities', i do receive them sometimes, but i think its always less than the rest. But i have never ever post them back. I think that i've become a bit too serious sometimes, to feel that such things are in a manner, nonsensical. To be concern about the right stuffs, i see myself going towards the other way, to end up being concerned about what is not so important and leaving so much behind.
I see myself lacking security and the confidence. I hold the fear of being alone, because people will end up leaving me. I found it hard to put trust in just anyone, because i don't think i can trust myself sometimes. I dare not look at a pretty girl when we had eye contact, because i do not know how i'll be looked at and i do not know where i stand. I lack my security in what i do now and in the fear of being judged.
A phony i am.
When i say it does not matter how people look at me. Somehow it does.
When i say there's nothing to worry about. Somehow there is.
When i say anything is achievable, somehow it might not be so.
The posts over these few days has been much depressing items, and the paragraphs are far away from the verses usually presented. It's a circle of thoughts, proceeding from one form to another. Its merely me, trying to seeking out my truth.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Me. People.
I come to recognize something.
Fear.
The fear of dealing with the unknown.
The fear of connecting with people.
The fear of facing failure.
Is it considered self defense?
That i draw myself away
to avoid people.
Holding my conversations
only on the surface,
i felt so shallow.
Maybe i find it hard
to just bare my heart
and speak out loud.
Or I'm afraid of hurt
that will come
if people know me too well.
I'm at a lost
when i deal with people
that i know not very well.
But right from the start
i never took the step
to know them well either.
It's a barrier within
that needs to be broken
by my sheer effort.
Fear.
The fear of dealing with the unknown.
The fear of connecting with people.
The fear of facing failure.
Is it considered self defense?
That i draw myself away
to avoid people.
Holding my conversations
only on the surface,
i felt so shallow.
Maybe i find it hard
to just bare my heart
and speak out loud.
Or I'm afraid of hurt
that will come
if people know me too well.
I'm at a lost
when i deal with people
that i know not very well.
But right from the start
i never took the step
to know them well either.
It's a barrier within
that needs to be broken
by my sheer effort.
Selfish
I admit it. I am.
Perhaps i'm writing this out of anger, which would bring me to tell you that once again i'm busting with emotions and thus, "I'm at my BEST, when I'm at my WORST". It always happen, that when I'm angry, thoughts flows better as if the blood flow to the brain during such situations have a deep impact on the way the brain functions conclude that increased blood flow does increase the generation of thoughts.
It always occur to me that i would not bother myself with things that does not affect me. Though it should be known that no one is safe from each other and all things have a chain effect on one another. It'll get to you somehow. You can run, but you can't hide. I'm serious about selectively bothering myself with different matters. There's only so much time and energy you can dedicate, so why should you be bothering with each and very matter that is occurring in the world around you. Time for myself, i think, is still important; it's in the priority list along with the people you care for.
I take the case of wedding and funerals which is supposedly important, or so i feel. It does and in fact very important, to the people who are the center of the attention. The bride/groom, the dead and of cos their family. And when we think about who should be present when such cases occurs, it makes sense to us. But for them, how much sense does it make? Are they suppose to feel important that they receive an invitation? Even if no one is coming, things still gotta go on. That's for sure. Unless you need them to do something for you. But sending their regards is to me, the only one thing they can truly do which brings a reason why they are there in the first place.
Other people's opinion does not come high into the list of priorities sometimes, unless they mean a level of significance to me. There's no meaning why i should be so concerned with what you think if it is not going to affect me, and I'm not trying to sway you to my side. I can have my own views, so should you. I don't think they have to be bothered with what i think as well. You are and should be, leading your life, not what others think or say you should. Taking some opinions once in a while but making it your own.
Talk about social responsibility, and we'll come to the point about everyone should be working together as one. But then i feel that, everyone should have a sense of their own, not necessary about together. There's always got to have people who come up, opposing certain things, creating diversity across all that we know. You don't have to do something for others, unless you really want to, then again, its you view that you are holding.
Looking at everything and at myself, i feel that i'm an individualist and i'm trying to run away from people. I avoid people sometimes, to avoid making that connection which i would end up thinking what would it actually mean.
I'm not just selfish or so i thought. I'm confused.
Perhaps i'm writing this out of anger, which would bring me to tell you that once again i'm busting with emotions and thus, "I'm at my BEST, when I'm at my WORST". It always happen, that when I'm angry, thoughts flows better as if the blood flow to the brain during such situations have a deep impact on the way the brain functions conclude that increased blood flow does increase the generation of thoughts.
It always occur to me that i would not bother myself with things that does not affect me. Though it should be known that no one is safe from each other and all things have a chain effect on one another. It'll get to you somehow. You can run, but you can't hide. I'm serious about selectively bothering myself with different matters. There's only so much time and energy you can dedicate, so why should you be bothering with each and very matter that is occurring in the world around you. Time for myself, i think, is still important; it's in the priority list along with the people you care for.
I take the case of wedding and funerals which is supposedly important, or so i feel. It does and in fact very important, to the people who are the center of the attention. The bride/groom, the dead and of cos their family. And when we think about who should be present when such cases occurs, it makes sense to us. But for them, how much sense does it make? Are they suppose to feel important that they receive an invitation? Even if no one is coming, things still gotta go on. That's for sure. Unless you need them to do something for you. But sending their regards is to me, the only one thing they can truly do which brings a reason why they are there in the first place.
Other people's opinion does not come high into the list of priorities sometimes, unless they mean a level of significance to me. There's no meaning why i should be so concerned with what you think if it is not going to affect me, and I'm not trying to sway you to my side. I can have my own views, so should you. I don't think they have to be bothered with what i think as well. You are and should be, leading your life, not what others think or say you should. Taking some opinions once in a while but making it your own.
Talk about social responsibility, and we'll come to the point about everyone should be working together as one. But then i feel that, everyone should have a sense of their own, not necessary about together. There's always got to have people who come up, opposing certain things, creating diversity across all that we know. You don't have to do something for others, unless you really want to, then again, its you view that you are holding.
Looking at everything and at myself, i feel that i'm an individualist and i'm trying to run away from people. I avoid people sometimes, to avoid making that connection which i would end up thinking what would it actually mean.
I'm not just selfish or so i thought. I'm confused.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Imagine
I'll say, let's imagine.
Just saw a mail from WAYN(Where are you now?), a social site to connect frequent travelers who are often around the world. I'm not a fan of social site, this i gotta admit but this little social site did give me some inspiration once in a while. And a little friendship which came about from an unexpected message.
And time to go on to the mail idea about what this 'inspiration' actually is for today. So they launch a 'WAYN Guru' program, something to do with getting interested people to be 'ambassadors' of their city. I think it sounds great, pretty fun idea in fact. So we'll see people who enjoys traveling, playing host to these visits from friends coming from foreign land. Not just an exchange of culture and idea, at least that's what i think.
So what if we do have a group of our own? A group of people who enjoy travels, backpacking, road-trip, what do we do with them? Rather, what can we do for them? More than ever, that's the key question.
Then i realize, i think the main jest of it lies in what do they do when they actually get together. I myself, is not a traveler, not that i don't like it, I'll account it towards the lack of a suitable time able and then the much temptation of staying down on my ground enjoying my time on games and hanging out with my usual circle of friends. I do look forward to a little adventure once in a while, and I'm serious about this statement i make.
Pretty short on ideas about how to keep this going, but i won't be going around searching for the solution yet. Cos time and time again I've been proved that things never appear for you when you are searching for it and appears only when you stop on it.
Thus comes another issue that bugs me for quite a while.
Film appreciation.
Cool term. Totally. Class. Undeniable.
So we do have regular movie screening and i do have doubts about conducting or creating something for film appreciation. As in how to gather them round, what to choose which would make sessions of film appreciation worthwhile coming.
Question again, 'If i something like that was to be organized, would i attend?'
Key point again. But where does the key lies this time?
Do i end up doing i wanna do or something for them? This does runs through my mind once in a while. But it just occur to me seconds ago that could be what they want be something i wanna do as well? Let's hope that's a life saving hope. And this should well enough justify for many many of the things that we are intending or going to do.
Not that i just want to conclude it here but the thread for my imagination runs thin, not a very creative person i am, my ink goes fading.
Just saw a mail from WAYN(Where are you now?), a social site to connect frequent travelers who are often around the world. I'm not a fan of social site, this i gotta admit but this little social site did give me some inspiration once in a while. And a little friendship which came about from an unexpected message.
And time to go on to the mail idea about what this 'inspiration' actually is for today. So they launch a 'WAYN Guru' program, something to do with getting interested people to be 'ambassadors' of their city. I think it sounds great, pretty fun idea in fact. So we'll see people who enjoys traveling, playing host to these visits from friends coming from foreign land. Not just an exchange of culture and idea, at least that's what i think.
So what if we do have a group of our own? A group of people who enjoy travels, backpacking, road-trip, what do we do with them? Rather, what can we do for them? More than ever, that's the key question.
Then i realize, i think the main jest of it lies in what do they do when they actually get together. I myself, is not a traveler, not that i don't like it, I'll account it towards the lack of a suitable time able and then the much temptation of staying down on my ground enjoying my time on games and hanging out with my usual circle of friends. I do look forward to a little adventure once in a while, and I'm serious about this statement i make.
Pretty short on ideas about how to keep this going, but i won't be going around searching for the solution yet. Cos time and time again I've been proved that things never appear for you when you are searching for it and appears only when you stop on it.
Thus comes another issue that bugs me for quite a while.
Film appreciation.
Cool term. Totally. Class. Undeniable.
So we do have regular movie screening and i do have doubts about conducting or creating something for film appreciation. As in how to gather them round, what to choose which would make sessions of film appreciation worthwhile coming.
Question again, 'If i something like that was to be organized, would i attend?'
Key point again. But where does the key lies this time?
Do i end up doing i wanna do or something for them? This does runs through my mind once in a while. But it just occur to me seconds ago that could be what they want be something i wanna do as well? Let's hope that's a life saving hope. And this should well enough justify for many many of the things that we are intending or going to do.
Not that i just want to conclude it here but the thread for my imagination runs thin, not a very creative person i am, my ink goes fading.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I write
I write because I'm happy
I write because I'm sad
I write because I'm stress
I write because I want to express
The words becomes a medium
for the thoughts that I grasp.
It brings me closer to people
and further from what I am less.
It becomes truth to my soul
and what I am made of.
I write because I'm sad
I write because I'm stress
I write because I want to express
The words becomes a medium
for the thoughts that I grasp.
It brings me closer to people
and further from what I am less.
It becomes truth to my soul
and what I am made of.
I felt like a cat. Meow
Looking for a shelter,
found myself under a table.
The wind still blows,
brushing pass my legs.
The light hidden from view,
shadows still in sight.
A haven found,
within walls of four.
Tilt my head right,
see bar of metal solid.
Cage it suddenly became
or so it felt to me.
found myself under a table.
The wind still blows,
brushing pass my legs.
The light hidden from view,
shadows still in sight.
A haven found,
within walls of four.
Tilt my head right,
see bar of metal solid.
Cage it suddenly became
or so it felt to me.
Tesion of Opposites or Irony vs 'the greener grass on the other side'
Not often that i'll be writing in paragraphs, even seldom that title so long comes along. So long that i forgot the title halfway even. Its a title that i was gonna work on quite sometime ago but felt hard to come up with any content and thus left untouched.
The main point being on how the grass would always seem greener on the other side. That you would more often than ever, wished you're doing task 2 when you are stuck on task 1. And when you finally get to be doing task 2, you wish so much you are doing task 1. I've been feeling so much of it nowadays that I can't help but phrase it into words to ease this 'stress' i'm having. A poem was coming up but seems like its overflowing into these following paragraphs that you are seeing here.
We don't call it regret or lament, a lot of it has once been discussed and brought up in previous post before. Neither is it about making the so-called right choice, which never existed in the first place.n Each moment is unique and only happens once and thus whatever choice made is the only one of its kind and with no comparison, how could there have been a better choice, this I wonder.
Then again, could it be that we are always looking at the happiness of others while being sad of what happiness of their which we can't own. And that derives to the part about which we would fail to notice about the sacrifice they probably have to made while we look at all our efforts we have placed in return for what we get and does not feel is of fair quality.
So much promises, not one fulfilled.
And this, poetry tries to flow in again, into the flow of my words. But today is once which i try to suppress it, against my usual principle in the freedom of expression. Poetry and verses of words might be full of grace and brings the flow of words in a beautiful manner but come again, such paragraphs and chucks of words might just be the key to the freedom of expression that is most suitable for the uprising and enthusiasm in pushing an idea or a thought across where the energy could be so strong that it feels unstoppable. And at the same time it signifies the ability of free flow, unrestricted string of thoughts.
Everywhere is choices, which we all have to make, for the best or just the better, i see no chance of for the the worst or just the bad. A chance at optimism perhaps, or is it a try too hard? Even in here, i see myself making a choice at how my words shall flow. Unknowingly we are making choices all the time, whether we see it or not or how these affect the way we are leading our lives and what changes it'll bring for us.
And in essence, i think that i have just came a full round to where i started right in this post. Only did the free flow string of thoughts come telling that whatever i am having is the best i would be having cos there's no time machine bringing me back to redo or erase anything i would do.
So what the hell is this for?
The main point being on how the grass would always seem greener on the other side. That you would more often than ever, wished you're doing task 2 when you are stuck on task 1. And when you finally get to be doing task 2, you wish so much you are doing task 1. I've been feeling so much of it nowadays that I can't help but phrase it into words to ease this 'stress' i'm having. A poem was coming up but seems like its overflowing into these following paragraphs that you are seeing here.
We don't call it regret or lament, a lot of it has once been discussed and brought up in previous post before. Neither is it about making the so-called right choice, which never existed in the first place.n Each moment is unique and only happens once and thus whatever choice made is the only one of its kind and with no comparison, how could there have been a better choice, this I wonder.
Then again, could it be that we are always looking at the happiness of others while being sad of what happiness of their which we can't own. And that derives to the part about which we would fail to notice about the sacrifice they probably have to made while we look at all our efforts we have placed in return for what we get and does not feel is of fair quality.
So much promises, not one fulfilled.
And this, poetry tries to flow in again, into the flow of my words. But today is once which i try to suppress it, against my usual principle in the freedom of expression. Poetry and verses of words might be full of grace and brings the flow of words in a beautiful manner but come again, such paragraphs and chucks of words might just be the key to the freedom of expression that is most suitable for the uprising and enthusiasm in pushing an idea or a thought across where the energy could be so strong that it feels unstoppable. And at the same time it signifies the ability of free flow, unrestricted string of thoughts.
Everywhere is choices, which we all have to make, for the best or just the better, i see no chance of for the the worst or just the bad. A chance at optimism perhaps, or is it a try too hard? Even in here, i see myself making a choice at how my words shall flow. Unknowingly we are making choices all the time, whether we see it or not or how these affect the way we are leading our lives and what changes it'll bring for us.
And in essence, i think that i have just came a full round to where i started right in this post. Only did the free flow string of thoughts come telling that whatever i am having is the best i would be having cos there's no time machine bringing me back to redo or erase anything i would do.
So what the hell is this for?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Cold Bug
I'm struck
not yet down
just bitten by the cold bug.
Voice going stranger
or rather deeper than usual
as my throat goes
slightly sore or hardened.
Seldom do I get sick
apparently this is the exception
occurring like that of a blue moon.
Maybe its the cold bug
that took away my cool of mind
before giving me another
causing me to go
into a temper
which i rarely did
and felt should have been left alone.
Not that I'm regretting
or lamenting,
a bit of whining perhaps.
But since the cold bug is here,
don't think I could find a way
to shrug it off me.
not yet down
just bitten by the cold bug.
Voice going stranger
or rather deeper than usual
as my throat goes
slightly sore or hardened.
Seldom do I get sick
apparently this is the exception
occurring like that of a blue moon.
Maybe its the cold bug
that took away my cool of mind
before giving me another
causing me to go
into a temper
which i rarely did
and felt should have been left alone.
Not that I'm regretting
or lamenting,
a bit of whining perhaps.
But since the cold bug is here,
don't think I could find a way
to shrug it off me.
A few strokes to One
Across me an empty seat.
Laid out on the table,
my phone and this notebook here.
Trumpets echoes in the background
with drumbeats in its company.
That's the music playing,
black speakers around us all.
Us in reference to me and the rest
who has taken a seat in this corner
identified by wooden flooring
and the signboard hanging above.
Half an hour here too early
but definitely deliberately
done to avoid the unnecessary
waiting that shall await us
should we be here a bit too late.
The conditioning system chills me
with a cooling breeze
and I think the cold
that has came running to me
for the week so far
would be glad to hitch such a ride
from this unsuspecting breeze.
It's getting noisy
though the people are few
guess its the people flooding
into this basement.
Wonder if its just me
or a coincidence
I'm beginning to see,
the seats around me are empty
and ticks my wondering.
I'm holding on to this seat
while waiting
for my friend's coming.
She's not late
just me who's early.
Laid out on the table,
my phone and this notebook here.
Trumpets echoes in the background
with drumbeats in its company.
That's the music playing,
black speakers around us all.
Us in reference to me and the rest
who has taken a seat in this corner
identified by wooden flooring
and the signboard hanging above.
Half an hour here too early
but definitely deliberately
done to avoid the unnecessary
waiting that shall await us
should we be here a bit too late.
The conditioning system chills me
with a cooling breeze
and I think the cold
that has came running to me
for the week so far
would be glad to hitch such a ride
from this unsuspecting breeze.
It's getting noisy
though the people are few
guess its the people flooding
into this basement.
Wonder if its just me
or a coincidence
I'm beginning to see,
the seats around me are empty
and ticks my wondering.
I'm holding on to this seat
while waiting
for my friend's coming.
She's not late
just me who's early.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Summer Lost
I think of days
that date back
more than a year ago.
The summer sunshine
shining through that window
basking my bed
in the heat of noon.
Up i glance
white clouds upon shades of blue
filled the sky
stretching further
as the intense heat went higher.
Another summer has come and gone
and I'm still on my way
searching for the next bend
on this winding highway.
It's hard to imagine
how did time fly just like this
and now wondering what is next.
Looking out of my window now,
hoping to see that parade square
that was once in a similar view
so is that summer sunshine
now replaced by constant rain
My organizer reaching the end of its pages
telling me its soon due to time
Have we passed through the line yet?
that date back
more than a year ago.
The summer sunshine
shining through that window
basking my bed
in the heat of noon.
Up i glance
white clouds upon shades of blue
filled the sky
stretching further
as the intense heat went higher.
Another summer has come and gone
and I'm still on my way
searching for the next bend
on this winding highway.
It's hard to imagine
how did time fly just like this
and now wondering what is next.
Looking out of my window now,
hoping to see that parade square
that was once in a similar view
so is that summer sunshine
now replaced by constant rain
My organizer reaching the end of its pages
telling me its soon due to time
Have we passed through the line yet?
Monday, September 1, 2008
Waking Thoughts
Waking up from a afternoon's nap
and that's brought by
what seemed to be
endless waiting.
In a corner
tucked away from the world.
The one thing that stood in-between
was clear serenity
and stillness of the air.
A bit dizzy
rather tipsy
but not yet soused.
My head is in a whirl
and I thought the world conjure.
I remembered the sky gloomy
but now it starts to rain,
not heavy at all,
just droplets fine and small.
Now on the journey back
everyone sound asleep as though
under a fairytale like spell
from stories we once read.
Tress around me
brushed away in blur of green
and the seconds tell me
I'm nearing where
I ought to be.
and that's brought by
what seemed to be
endless waiting.
In a corner
tucked away from the world.
The one thing that stood in-between
was clear serenity
and stillness of the air.
A bit dizzy
rather tipsy
but not yet soused.
My head is in a whirl
and I thought the world conjure.
I remembered the sky gloomy
but now it starts to rain,
not heavy at all,
just droplets fine and small.
Now on the journey back
everyone sound asleep as though
under a fairytale like spell
from stories we once read.
Tress around me
brushed away in blur of green
and the seconds tell me
I'm nearing where
I ought to be.
Writing Upon a Helmet as I Face September
the longer we live,
the more tired we get,
are we just tired of living?
A casual remark
from a random comment
sparking off today.
I sit here in a shed
among other whom together
have come quite a long way.
The wind whispers to my ear
suggesting the weather
is getting gloomy today.
Its all so familiar
like how we had our weekends
hiding inside comfort shelter.
We wait for lunch's due
and a break
like we always do.
It becomes apparent
what was on my head
became a table for my writing tool.
I saw leaves falling
yellow and brown
simplicity it carried ground bound.
Time for work again
and reluctantly I return
this paper to my pocket.
While I carry on
to long for the
much later break.
the more tired we get,
are we just tired of living?
A casual remark
from a random comment
sparking off today.
I sit here in a shed
among other whom together
have come quite a long way.
The wind whispers to my ear
suggesting the weather
is getting gloomy today.
Its all so familiar
like how we had our weekends
hiding inside comfort shelter.
We wait for lunch's due
and a break
like we always do.
It becomes apparent
what was on my head
became a table for my writing tool.
I saw leaves falling
yellow and brown
simplicity it carried ground bound.
Time for work again
and reluctantly I return
this paper to my pocket.
While I carry on
to long for the
much later break.
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