Selfish

I admit it. I am.

Perhaps i'm writing this out of anger, which would bring me to tell you that once again i'm busting with emotions and thus, "I'm at my BEST, when I'm at my WORST". It always happen, that when I'm angry, thoughts flows better as if the blood flow to the brain during such situations have a deep impact on the way the brain functions conclude that increased blood flow does increase the generation of thoughts.

It always occur to me that i would not bother myself with things that does not affect me. Though it should be known that no one is safe from each other and all things have a chain effect on one another. It'll get to you somehow. You can run, but you can't hide. I'm serious about selectively bothering myself with different matters. There's only so much time and energy you can dedicate, so why should you be bothering with each and very matter that is occurring in the world around you. Time for myself, i think, is still important; it's in the priority list along with the people you care for.

I take the case of wedding and funerals which is supposedly important, or so i feel. It does and in fact very important, to the people who are the center of the attention. The bride/groom, the dead and of cos their family. And when we think about who should be present when such cases occurs, it makes sense to us. But for them, how much sense does it make? Are they suppose to feel important that they receive an invitation? Even if no one is coming, things still gotta go on. That's for sure. Unless you need them to do something for you. But sending their regards is to me, the only one thing they can truly do which brings a reason why they are there in the first place.

Other people's opinion does not come high into the list of priorities sometimes, unless they mean a level of significance to me. There's no meaning why i should be so concerned with what you think if it is not going to affect me, and I'm not trying to sway you to my side. I can have my own views, so should you. I don't think they have to be bothered with what i think as well. You are and should be, leading your life, not what others think or say you should. Taking some opinions once in a while but making it your own.

Talk about social responsibility, and we'll come to the point about everyone should be working together as one. But then i feel that, everyone should have a sense of their own, not necessary about together. There's always got to have people who come up, opposing certain things, creating diversity across all that we know. You don't have to do something for others, unless you really want to, then again, its you view that you are holding.

Looking at everything and at myself, i feel that i'm an individualist and i'm trying to run away from people. I avoid people sometimes, to avoid making that connection which i would end up thinking what would it actually mean.

I'm not just selfish or so i thought. I'm confused.